A BIG TOWN AND A LONELY HEART
When people in a big town or city feel lonely, this does not mean that they lack human companions, but rather that they lack human affection. A true friendship develops on the basis of human affection.
Life is about relationship – the relationship we have with ourselves, with each other, with the world. When our relationships are good, we feel good; when they are bad, we feel awful. Let’s accept it. We need each other. We need to feel connected; we need to feel each other’s presence and love.
We lost sight of where we belong, and instead, we experience intense feelings of loneliness, and confusion. Trying to find the way back to our place in the whole is what the spiritual seeker’s search is all about. It represents a journey home to who we are. How about you? Do you ever suffer from a sense that you are lost and wandering? The biggest problem facing the world today is not people dying in the street, and not inflation, but spiritual deprivation. This feeling of emptiness associated with feeling separate from the higher forces, and about the pain associated with feeling of isolation and separateness. They can overtake any one of us in a heartbeat, even in the every midst of happiness and joy. Loneliness implies a lack of meaningful connection. We can feel separate and apart. Separate from what, we might ask? Separate from others, separate from ourselves, separate from the divine, separate from meaning, separate from love. Separate from a sense of belonging.
Don’t we all need to feel the light and warmth that emanates from others? Don’t we all want true love? Don’t we all hunger for genuine communication. When our relationships are superficial, we feel as though we are leading superficial lives; when our relationships reflect our deeper commitments and aspirations, we feel as though we are walking a more meaningful and satisfying path. If we are going to relate to others successfully, we need a firm sense of perspective and a clear idea about what is important in the long run. We need to focus on those value and virtues that we know are important in the long run and let go of some of the issues and concerns that are fundamentally superficial or even comic. Love comes through relating. That’s why we must connect. Greed, jealousy, fear, and the shadows of our personal histories often corrupt our need for romance, passion and love. We want personal connections that bring us the abundance and joy they initially promise.
We see what we want to see, hear what we want to hear, and ignore the messages we find distasteful. As a result we end up living our lives feeling the pinch. We ignore reality every time we spend money we don’t have; we ignore reality every time we close our eyes to our own unhappiness or the suffering of those around us; and we ignore reality every time we construct fantasies that help us avoid what we don’t want to see. You may think that everybody sees reality, but check it out. I am sure you’ll discover that we can all walk down the same street, and yet we’ll see and hear different things. In this life, we cannot expect to avoid pain, suffering, illness, or loss. We can, however, train our minds so that we are better able to let go rather than onto life’s problems; we can lead our lives so that the difficulties we face become stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks on the path to enlightenment.