Simon Lau Life Guidance
Spiritual & Emotional Intelligence in Manipulative and Control Relationship
Abusers chip away at their victims’ self-respect and self-image. It will take time to repair and rebuild the damage from the abuse, so be gentle with yourself, and don’t expect it to happen all at once.
One by one, explore activities and interests that your abuser shut down by telling you that you were no good at them. Chances are, those are exactly the things that you shine in and things that make you feel good about yourself. Even personal choices like what to eat, or how to arrange your clothes, are things you can indulge yourself in, and appreciate having them without fear or conflict.
Start moving forward with your life by setting manageable goals for yourself to improve in some area, and meeting those goals regularly. Whether career, health, or happiness goals, it’s important to keep focused on satisfying yourself and living your own life. Set yourself a major and a minor goal, and then replace them with new ones when you satisfy each.
Start replacing your toxic memories of the past with joyful new memories and new experiences. Make your old manipulated/controlled abusive relationship seem distant by spending lots of time with new people, visiting new places, and never looking back except to heal.
Inner freedom is not guided by our efforts; it comes from seeing what is true.